Sons of Anarchy: Mourning Star
by Punk Drunk Love
Summary: Overwhelmed by stress, Jax takes his frustrations out on Juice and discovers a dark secret. Chibs has strong feelings for Tig's college-age daughter & tries to protect her from a dangerous group of students. Opie and Tara develop a kinship that goes deeper than they want to admit; Clay plans to end Tig's life for having an affair with Gemma.


Author's Note: This is a one-shot re-post of a short story I wrote over a year ago featuring the cast of Sons. It has a Jax/Juice pairing and is based on early seasons before Opie's death. The story runs along the vein of the song "This Night" by Black Lab, and is rated M for adult content featured throughout. I don't claim to own any rights to Sons of Anarchy (2008). The show and its characters were created by Kurt Sutter.

1:

**Chibs**

_She was born a prodigy, but never saw herself as one._

A girl of many thoughts, Cassie Trager was brilliant in the mind even before we knew of her. Born a bastard of Tig's and a young Crow Eater who flew the nest when Cassie was but a tiny lass, Gemma took the girl in and raised her to work the Teller-Morrow Garage as an assist until she could mature on her own. Even as Cassie grew past her teen years, she remained with the Garage despite having no true desire for the lifestyle or the service most 20-somethings provide to us in exchange for simple pleasures of skin-deep love and attention. Tig's treated her as one of his own, and Jax is akin to a protective older brother. I, being old enough to be her da', should have been as much the figure of a father as anyone.

Yet I feel only love for her as love should not be between one as old as I and one as untainted as she.

I've ignored my feelings for so long, supposing out of respect for Tig and to allow Cassie to choose her own path. She is but a virgin who distrusts the touch of man after a botched retaliation attempt on her life when she was still young scarred a great portion of her body. She hides her scars behind heavy SAMCRO sweats, but I see no damage to her face and the beauty that lies in her eyes.

I am scarred meself. Perhaps with this reason, I see nothing she should hide.

"Chibs! Clay's asking for you," Juice nodded my way.

"Tell 'im I'll be a minute," I kept short reply.

Juice stopped inside the Garage and waited. I took to biding my time on a motor part checked in for cleaning, but I was only passing the time more slowly so as I could watch Cassie pass the lot on her way to Gemma's office.

"You should tell her," Juice made it known he was aware.

I answered him with a snort, "Tig'd bury me while I was still breathin'."

Juice laughed as the picture image came up in his mind. He faded his smile and told me with all faith, "She feels the same way. Everyone knows it. Even Tig."

I made a quick toss of the motor part with defeated reply, "Doesn' matter. I'm too old for 'er. She needs a young stallion like yerself."

The half-inspired joke gave Juice a beet colored face. He still surmised, "She's twenty-two. She can decide for herself if she wants old or young."

I could hear the words coming out wrong even as I said them aloud, "I'm no good for her."

The term was like pointless tragedy and never stopped doomed couples from repeating their pre-destined mistakes, yet I meant it as more than a forlorn love story. I was a Son, and I had lost me lovers before to retaliation and death. I stood to lose one that stood for more than just I, and so it seemed a cruel fate to put her in harm's way for the sake of making love known.

"Tell her. I mean it," Juice was insistent.

"Some other time," I raised my chin in defiance.

Juice took his leave with a shake of his head, the black ink flames turning from side-to-side as though they taunted me. I flipped him two birds but he ignored it, knowing as well as I that confessing the truth were the only way to hold off the long gazes with heart-filled hopes that she would come closer.

_She would die a prodigy, but only I would see her as one._

* * *

**Jax Teller**

"Juice!" I nodded for him to follow me.

He nodded back and wiped his greasy hands with an old rag. He had been working in the garage most of the day and the heat was turning his caramelized skin a highlighted shade of red. The tribals across the sides of his head were one of the most endearing things about him, and they stood out nicely against the cloudless sky.

I smiled despite the hate I felt inside towards him.

He had failed me yet again. I had asked him to track Clay for the last two weeks and report back to me on anything unusual. So far, Juice had given me nothing more than a late-night gas station run for energy drinks and a questionable porn rental at a video store off of Clay's beaten paths. I had piece of mind to believe that Juice wasn't lying to me, but simply holding back on the more sordid details of my Devil-May-Care Stepfather.

"I want a rundown on what you've got so far since we spoke last," I told Juice as soon as we were behind closed doors and away from the others.

"Uh...sure," Juice turned his head to one side and scratched it like he was struggling with the request.

I was tired of playing games. I immediately launched into him, "Is there something wrong with what I'm asking? Haven't I already told you to report back to me everything that's been happening with Clay so far?"

His eyes widened with temporary fear. Juice was the only member of the group with emotions constantly running on high. What intrigued me was how easily he could continue to hold onto them, and how accurate they were at reading others.

"It's not that, Jax. I want to tell you everything, but I...Clay hasn't been doing much since we talked. His hands are all messed up, he doesn't even bike for fun anymore..."

"Why won't you tell me the truth, Juice? You're keeping something from me and I want to know what it is right now, or you will be punished!" I insisted.

Juice blinked. His expression went blank and resembled a deer in the headlights. I had seen this expression on him, before. It was an intelligent one, meant to ward off any attacks from others because they would mistake it for innocence or even stupidity.

I knew better.

Juice was willing to let himself get punished for Clay. If that was how he wanted it, then so be it.

"Meet me back here at the Clubhouse at 8. If you don't have anything to tell, expect the worst," I warned him.

Juice said nothing and I walked away. If he wanted to be the omega to his former alpha, then I would show him what happens when the new alpha takes over.

* * *

**Tara Teller**

_Tara Teller. Tara Teller. Tara Teller._

It still didn't quite feel familiar, even as I wrote it for the hundredth time. My whole life, I'd always believed that I would marry Jax, but now that the time has come and gone, it still feel just like that: _Only a dream._

It's not that I don't want to be married to him. It's not that I'm afraid or feel like I've made a mistake being with him. I just don't see myself as part of Teller-Morrow, the business...no, the empire that Jax has built around himself, the safe haven he has become so involved in that it twists and turns around his every limb, like an old Elm tree that holds him up for everyone to see, yet keeps him just away from my reach.

He says we're leaving this life behind, going on to something better, but now that he's taken over for Clay, his words of worship and honor have become words of order and bitterness. He hates who he has become, and yet he knows nothing else.

"Tara? It's me, Opie," I heard him call from the front door.

I put my pen down and got up to greet him. Opie had been dropping by the last few weeks, bringing along his kids to play with Thomas and Abel. It had started as a kind of therapy from Jax to give me some companionship and extra help around the house while my hand healed, but I've begun to anticipate these visits and learned so much about Opie in the process that it has become hard to think of it as so temporary.

"Hello, Opie! Hello..." I tried to greet the children, but they rushed in without so much as a nod.

They were headed for the basement, where Jax had set up the newest Xbox. Once they had discovered this marveled treasure, talking became redundant.

"Sorry. I should go and tell them to be more polite," Opie made a short smile.

"It's fine, really," I welcomed him inside.

Opie shoved his hands into his pockets and glanced cautiously around the room. This was a habit he'd performed since as long as I could remember him, but it had become more obvious since he'd started looking in on me. I began to wonder if there was something _I _should be watching out for.

"Would you like the usual?" I asked him.

"Yes, thank you," he smiled and I obliged with a beer from the fridge.

He opened it as he took a seat at the kitchen table. He watched me gather paperwork to put away and he waited for me to ask for help putting away the dishes, but I was doing just fine on my own and I liked it better just feeling his eyes on me.

"Will Jax be out again, tonight?" I asked after the silence had become somewhat awkward.

"He said he had a few things to take care of, but nothing late," he answered me.

I stared at him for a long while until he flushed and asked, "What?"

"You're the only member of the club who answers me without talking in circles," I told him.

He blinked like this surprised him and replied quickly, "Well, didn't realize the question was supposed to be so difficult..."

I laughed and covered my lips with my hand. Opie grunted in return and I went back to putting the dishes away. Opie asked quietly from behind me, "Are the boys asleep?"

"Yes, they should be up in a little while," I told him over my shoulder.

"Oh, that's too bad," he sounded legitimately saddened to hear that.

I turned back and gave him a curious glance. He smiled back at me and said, "I just mean that I don't know what to do with myself when I'm not bouncing a kid on my knee."

He made me laugh, again. His straight sense of humor was so dry it made the room turn to sand, and all the while he never once even cracked a smile. I looked at him and asked, "Does Jax know you're so funny?"

Opie lifted his beer to take another sip and said with a shrug, "He likes me brutish so we can look like the brothers of destruction together."

I laughed so loudly that Abel started to cry. I went to get him and told Opie as I passed, "Well, I like you funny."

"That makes one of us," he called down the hall, making me laugh out loud once more.

* * *

**Chibs**

I worked in the garage a long part of the day, watching time sail idly by while Cassie Trager sat on a bench near'er the Clubhouse, set to work on a term paper for the nearby Junior College she was attending. I'd wanted to take Juicy's advice and tell the lass how I felt for her, but each time I stirred up me courage, another plot always stood in my way.

But I swore I would tell Cassie today. I would tell her today.

Her auburn hair flowed like waves of dark grain, casting a yellow glow from the noonday sun. I closed my eyes and imagined stroking my fingers through each wave; imagined it tingling the scars of my face.

"Cassie," I whispered and opened me eyes.

I were a thief for taking her image too long. My Levi's were stiff upon the groin to punish me for my transgressions.

"_Shite_," I groaned from the pain.

Luck, I was alone in the garage.

I sat down to let the stiffness pass. I felt ashamed as a school boy fancying a lass from afar until he'd stained his'self. My eyes dared to steal another gaze at Cassie, but she kept her head down and worked along, unawares that she were being watched by an old hound dog dreaming of being a wolf again.

The blare of a horn took me away from my Cassie. A black SUV of the richly-lived type came rolling into our territory as if it were already announced. My groin had not completely gone down, but I had mind to take charge if fate made it so.

Cassie closed her book and stood up. I watched her set on the SUV with familiar eyes, but her face told me it was not a desired sight. It braked so near to her that I felt need to give chase, but Cassie showed no fear as she leaned into the window of the driver and spoke.

Her words grew louder as conversation passed between them. The driver's voice was low and young. I stepped closer and took sight of a male about Cassie's age, wearing a blue cap and an athletic shirt of fashionable design. Another male sat in the passenger's seat and caught my eye; we stared each other down and he made it clear he wished to challenge me if given the chance.

"Get outta here!" Cassie spat at the driver.

He opened his door and knocked Cassie to the gravel. I took out me blade and came close enough to take a sliver from the boy's forearm before he could leave his side. He cried out and closed the door, but refused to let a shallow cut be the last of his suffering.

"Fuck you, old man!" he cursed at me and took the gun handed to him by the passenger.

I stayed where I was. I felt no fear for the gun.

"Filip, no!" Cassie took her place between us and slammed her body against mine to shield me from the wings of Death.

I had not heard me true name in so long, it stunned me as it was called. Another curse was uttered from nearby, this time coming from Tig himself, who ordered, "Get the fuck outta here!"

The loading of a shotgun rang through me ears. Bobby was at the ready and had come to join the brawl.

"I suggest you put that gun down and get the hell out of here, before we come looking for the rest of your gang, and we take them down one by one," Jax made statement and flanked me left.

The boy removed the gun from facing me and let it drop within the SUV, but his eyes never left Cassie's.

He took off as fast as his wheels would take him, making the brutal screech of a hawk sound clearing out of the lot. The others dropped their guards and came near, but I could feel Cassie's arms around me as secure as a mother's love; no desire to ever let go.

"Come on, Cass, I've got some things for us to work on," Tig slowly pried her away from me.

She looked up at me before she took leave with her father. Her eyes warned me that this was not the last time the boy would come.

"Who were those fuckers?" Jax asked when Cassie and Tig were away.

"A problem," I made statement.

* * *

**Jax**

"So, what's changed?" I asked Juice as soon as he walked into the Clubhouse that night.

"Nothing," he answered thickly.

I didn't believe him.

I stared at him for the longest time, but he refused to give me any sign of what he was really thinking. I shifted to another approach, asking calmly, "Are you trying to protect Clay?"

"No, no, Jax, I'm not, honestly," he quickly shook his head.

"Then why are you keeping things from me?!" I roared.

His voice caught in his throat. He seemed unable to handle my constant changes in behavior. I came closer and stated with deliberate restraint, "Tell me something I can use against Clay, and you can leave now, no more questions asked."

Juice remained hesitant, so I added smartly, "It won't come back to you, I promise."

His eyes were wild in their sockets, yet they refused to give up what he was hiding from me.

I grabbed him by the back of his neck and slammed him over one of the pool tables. I had strategically placed an old whip there that I had found in the garage a few days prior. It was a prop I used for a Halloween costume while I was still in high school, but it was authentic enough to be used as a scare tactic if need be, and Juice had no idea how far I was willing to go to get the shit I needed on Clay.

"Tell me something. Anything," I gave him yet another chance to redeem himself.

Juice was panting from a rush of adrenaline, but he still said nothing and I found it impossible to believe he wasn't scared shitless by now. What could possibly be so daunting that he would risk getting his ass whipped to keep the secret hidden?

I reached around his front and unbuckled his jeans. He was terrified at this point, but didn't utter a word. He had let me go too far to turn back now, so I exposed his backside and picked up the whip, gliding it along the crack of his ass to get his attention.

"Tell me what you know," I said once more.

"I...I can't, Jax, I can't..." Juice stuttered.

_Something felt wrong._

My insides were burning and my forearms were tingling like I was on fire. I couldn't stop staring at Juice's ass even as I tried to make contact with his eyes. The months since the last time I was with Tara had to be weighing on me, because I could feel a partial erection coming on.

"Shit," I muttered, giving Juice one crack of the whip.

It was only enough to make a red line across his left cheek, but it was enough to make him cry out in pain. I did it again, then once more, the rage I felt inside for Clay finding an outlet by punishing Juice.

"Stop, Jax, please, stop," Juice pleaded softly.

He didn't sound like he was in pain, anymore. I turned my head to one side and caught a glimpse of his erection from underneath the pool table. My eyes widened with shock and I dropped the whip, realizing too late that I wasn't ready to let go.

I wasn't thinking about what I was doing. I was too enraged about Clay and all of the shit he had put me through to care, anymore. I opened my jeans and pulled out my own cock, then I spit into my hand and rubbed it wet before bringing it up to Juice and pushing my way inside.

He didn't fight me. He just relaxed and let it happen, like he had wanted it the whole time. I wanted to be brutal with him, but this way was different. It wasn't like being with a chick, all slippery and conforming. This way was hot and tight and every time I pushed it, it threatened to shove me right back out. It was almost as painful for me as it was for Juice, but neither of us seemed to mind.

"Fuck!" I grabbed hold of his cut with my right hand while bracing myself against the table with my left.

Juice spread his feet a little wider and let me go in deep. I couldn't seem to control myself as I just kept thrusting and thrusting, taking my anger out on Juice in a way that I could never do with Tara. The intensity built up to a point where I couldn't take it anymore, and all I could see was this white hot rage as I screamed until my lungs burned, "ANARCHY!"

I don't know why that was the word I chose, but it felt good to say it. I came so hard that I fell forward against Juice, and he stayed still until I was able to sit up, again.

I pulled my hands away and he slowly turned around to face me. His dick was stained with his own cum and it was clear we had both been rewarded for our actions.

The humiliation I thought I'd feel didn't come. There was no sense of shame on the face of Juice, either. He blinked with satisfaction and confessed to me thickly, "Tig is sleeping with Gemma."

_Fuck._

* * *

**Jax Teller**

The evidence was clear enough: Mom and Tig sleeping together. It wasn't exactly the shock of an era, but it was something I wouldn't have bargained for, considering Tig's loyalty to Clay and Mom's choice in men.

Still, a part of me was satisfied with the union. Anyone other than Clay would've fit the bill at this point, but Tig was a respected member of The Club and I could trust him to do just about anything for me. If he wanted to be with Mom, all power to him, but if he planned on taking us down with him, he had another thing coming.

"Did anything else come up about Tig and Gemma?" I asked Juice the next morning.

My enthusiasm the night before had given him a bit of a limp, which I noticed when he first walked into my room from the Teller-Morrow Garage. It was the only place to meet where I felt no one else would be listening, and frankly, I felt more in control when I was on my turf.

"No, nothing," Juice shook his head.

He seemed awkward towards me, but it was more like he wasn't sure if I would be regretting last night by this point or not. I nodded to acknowledge his efforts and added softly, "Nothing has changed between us. If anything, it's made our bond stronger."

Juice made a short laugh but refused to ease up. He had been around Clay too long. He thought I would change my mind at any second. Who knows? Maybe I would.

I lit another smoke and breathed it in before releasing it in a cloud around me as I pondered what to say next. I wanted Juice to understand that I was serious about his continued alliance to me, and I wouldn't be giving him any free rides for allowing me to ride him.

"Keep tabs on Tig and Gemma. Anything new pops up, you come to me," I stated.

Juice made an eager nod, then he added curiously, "What about Clay?"

"Does he know?" I had almost completely forgotten to ask.

Juice shook his head and shrugged as he said, "I don't know. I could find out, though."

"Do it discretely. Don't let him on to the fact that I'm aware of the situation," I explained.

Juice turned to leave, but I asked him before he walked out, "Are you doing anything tonight?"

"No, not that I know of," Juice replied timidly.

"Text me if you've got time. I want to spend more of it with you," I made a short smile.

Juice reacted as though he were both excited and confused by the advance. He pondered me a moment before asking, "Are you sure this is okay, Jax?"

I sat down on the edge of my bed and replied, "It is until I say it isn't."

"...right..." Juice still wasn't sure what to think.

* * *

**Clay**

"Hey there, Tiggy," I gave him a long-armed hug just before he made it to the Garage.

"Hey, Big Man," he smiled at me as he would an old friend.

I gave a quick nod to Chibs, who was working on a project from inside the garage. He nodded back at me, then turned his attention towards the only thing he seemed to care about these days: Tig's daughter Cassie, a romance that Tig was oblivious to but the rest of us were fully aware of its effect on our Scot comrade.

Tig called to Cassie from over my shoulder, "Don't be long, Baby Girl!"

"Okay," she called back, getting into Tig's shitty red Hyundai.

I watched Chibs while he watched Cassie pull out of the parking lot. The old man was smitten by the young piece of tail, but he was too chicken shit to do anything about it. Not Chibs' style. I wondered what it was about that scarred little bitch that did it for him...probably the virginity thing.

"What's goin' in?" Tig asked me when I hadn't spoken in a while.

I put my attention back on him and replied, "I'm goin' to the movies, tonight. You wanna come?"

Tig shook his head, replying uneasily, "I dunno, Clay, I mean, Cass just went to class and I wanna make sure she gets home on time after that shitfest with that fucking douchebag guy yesterday."

I had no clue what he was talking about, but I hardly cared. I just wanted him to do as I asked.

"Come on, man! I'm plannin' on three actions films in one night! Little Cass will be just fine," I pressured him.

Tig crumbled as easily as I thought he would. He laughed and countered, "You're buyin'!"

"As always," I told him, turning to leave.

He had no idea I was going to confront him about fucking my wife.

* * *

**Cassie Trager**

It all happened like one big blur...

I was in class, and then I was talking to my professor. It was really late, but I needed something from him. What was it? An extension?

He seemed upset with me. I left, but I can't remember if I got what I needed.

It was late. So late that it was dark outside. I hated being alone in the dark.

I got into Dad's car. It wouldn't start. I don't remember turning the key, but I remember the chugging sound like when the engine isn't turning over. It was the same sound I'd heard in the Garage so many times, before.

I had the keys in my hand when I got out of the car. I don't remember seeing anyone around me. I just remember starting back across campus, and then there were headlights ahead of me.

Jeffrey in his black SUV. He had been practically stalking me for weeks and it escalated when he showed up at the Garage and pulled a gun on Chibs. I couldn't fucking believe how stupid Jeffrey was for doing that. He thought he was some white boy gangster, but pulling a fucking gun on Chibs?

I remember thinking to myself that I was surprised Chibs hadn't killed Jeffrey by now.

There was some shouting. I remember three men coming towards me. I turned and ran towards the hill on the other side of campus. For some reason I thought the men wouldn't be able to catch up with me if we were going uphill.

I don't know why I thought that would work.

One of them shoved me. I remember falling and hitting the hillside. The left side of my face burned. There was more shouting and someone grabbed at my clothes. My jacket tore open and they all made disgusted sounds when they saw the scar tissue on my back. I felt a sense of pain but it was numb, like it wasn't even really happening.

The next thing I remembered, I was being raped.

But it wasn't me. Not really. I was somewhere else, like I was watching the whole thing happen to someone else, but the someone looked just like me.

It was my first time. It should've been with someone I wanted; someone I loved. Instead, it was face-down on the hillside of a junior college in the dead of night with onlookers laughing at me like I deserved it.

He finished really fast, but it felt like an eternity.

I didn't have to see him to know it was Jeffrey. He pushed off of me and I waited for the others to take their turns. I was startled when I felt Jeffrey pull my jeans back up and lift me to my feet.

He told the other guys to, "Fuck off," or something like that. He turned me around to face him and brushed my shoulders off while making some stupid comment about the weather. He looked down at me and smiled like he hadn't just ripped away my innocence. He kept talking, but I couldn't understand what he was saying.

His words sounded like they were coming from underwater.

Jeffrey bent down and picked up my keys. He handed them to me and smiled. He said something like, "...tell anyone...fucking kill you," then he walked away.

It was wet between my legs. It felt thick like blood. Everything hurt down there. I wanted to cry but I couldn't. I don't remember what happened next.

I remembered being back in the car at some point. I tried to get it started, again. It still wouldn't start up. I suddenly felt panicked that Jeffrey might come back. I tried to think of anywhere I could go that would be safe.

Jax didn't live very far away, but I didn't want to go to his house. I walked the other direction and kept going for nearly a mile until I reached the house where I wanted to be.

The lights were out. It looked abandoned. I knocked anyway. I heard him yell from inside, "Who's der?"

"It's..." I couldn't remember my name.

The pain inside started to overwhelm me. My voice was like a child's as I whimpered, "Please, Filip!"

He opened the door. His eyes widened with horror when he saw my face. Then, he looked down.

I had never seen Chibs look so tormented in my whole life.


End file.
